Most of us select our friends based on our likes, dislikes, and expectations. What we want out of the ensuing relationship may not be mutual. We find that people rarely meet our expectations. They have expectations of their own that we will be judged by. No matter how uncomfortable it feels, the initial work required to build a lasting relationship takes time. The most important thing is that we have a relationship with ourselves first.
How do we allow another person into that realm of intimacy reserved only for our closest friends, family, or confidants without being fully aware of our own needs? Sometimes we may prefer causal relationships. Ones that do not require risk-taking, trust, or disclosure of any kind. It is imperative that we know who we are. The process can be daunting; however, it is doable.
We bounce in and out of relationships all too often, not knowing why it did not work out. Solace, in the waiting room will strengthen your levels of self-awareness, self-healing, self-respect, and most importantly self-love.
Relationships, although sometimes painful, are a necessary part of life. Relationships can be very satisfying if allowed to blossom. Tough relationships build us up in the weakest areas of our lives. However, it takes self-cognition, willingness, and honesty. Denial plagues many of us.
We profess to be loving, caring, strong, and capable of handling our relationships with ourselves and others. This is far from the truth. While exclaiming, I got this, I don’t need anyone’s help, we are sometimes fully aware that we have not only lied to our help, but we have also lied to ourselves. The facts are clear. Fear prevents us from becoming vulnerable. There is nothing worse than being alone and fearful of allowing another person to get close enough to help you through a rough situation. The flip side is allowing someone in and demanding their total and absolute loyalty to you and you alone. That is unrealistic. The relationship ends in anger, and feelings get hurt.
Demanding to be the center of attention in anyone’s life leads to resentment. Unfortunately, when we don’t take the time to get to know ourselves intimately before making others our priority. Consequently, we become shaky, insecure people who place unrealistic expectations on others. We can, however, check our motives through prayer and meditation. It is important that we recognize our true desires. Understanding why we think and feel the way we do takes time. Many of us don’t have a clue that we don’t know who we are.
Patience and commitment are key elements of our spiritual journey. Learning to pause and not react impulsively is an indication that we value ourselves and others. We find solace in the waiting room. Hasty decisions and actions have consequences.
This book will teach us how to become motivated to change. In it, you will find answers and solutions. Keep it simple. Practice the spiritual principles embodied in this work daily. Complications can distort our communications with ourselves and others, making it difficult. Scrapping an idea without thinking it through can lead to missed opportunities and positive spiritual growth. Patience with yourself is important. Are you willing to devote the time and energy needed? It may be difficult and challenging; however, it is worthwhile.
Excerpt from: SOLACE IN THE WAITING ROOM: A Spiritual Journey | COMING SOON ON AMAZON AND KINDLE.
Written by Adrienne Vanterpool in support of Hanifah Talks and https://peninsulainterfaithcc.com/
PICC URL: https://peninsulainterfaithcc.com/
Hanifah Talks URL: https://hanifahtalks2018.blogspot.com/
Adrienne Vanterpool URL: https://adriennevanterpool.com/
Peninsula Interfaith Counseling Center LLC 